Embarrassment and Enlightenment

Embarrassment is a well known phenomenon; but for the most part examination of it is scanty. Let’s look a little deeper into it; here’s my simple working definition: Embarrassment has its roots in the psyche, in what could be called a gap there. It’s a gap between how we perceive ourselves and a possible judgment of how we ‘should’ be. Living with this gap is not comfortable; typically our tendency is to paper over the gap in a sort of ‘now you see it now you don’t game.’ This proves to be an energy intensive activity requiring at least some level of continual attention; alas, experience demonstrates that suddenly, when least expected, our ‘papering over’ tactic is subject to shredding by circumstance. Our gap is revealed. We are embarrassed.

By this definition perception and judgment are deeply involved, and at birth these qualities exist only as potentials. Infants typically know nothing of embarrassment. But with the passage of time, and some needed stage development these qualities become vivified, and when a sufficient level of identity has been established embarrassment becomes possible, if not likely.

The question arises then, what if a person perceives themselves exactly as they are? What if like Popeye, the cartoon character, our judgment is, “I am what I am.”? Would any circumstance arise then that would be seen as personally untoward? I think not.

This scenario fits nicely with a threefold stage development scheme; pre-personal, personal, and trans-personal. This sort of (admittedly simple) analysis leads to possible statement of a principle: show me a person, eliminating the underdeveloped, beyond embarrassment, and i’ll show you at least an approximation of an enlightened being.

But a reasonable person may ask, “Does this simple test actually work in the real work-a-day world? Well here are a couple of examples. It was 1972; Bobby Fischer was in match play with Boris Spassky for the world chess championship. I was vacationing at a camp on an island in Puget Sound. Also present was the late Paul Reps, the Zen guy, and author of the classic, Zen Flesh, Zen Bones. When Reps heard that i had met and played chess with Fischer he asked to meet me, and was interested in my perception of him. This led to Reps and me playing about 7 or 8 games in a row. All of which he lost, a loss about which he was completely at peace. He was the only person in my chess career who was beyond winning or losing. Then there is the cherished example of my own teacher and friend, who when it was pointed out that something untoward or perhaps socially inappropriate had occurred, would turn coyly to the observer saying, “Oh, have I made a fool of myself, again!”

The Way is not so

Difficult, if we can give

Up our need to choose.

Warmly,

Charles
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