Confusion and Innocense

The notion that there is a possible linkage between confusion and innocence came to me with difficulty; but now i have come to see the role of innocence as being central to an integrated life. It took some time and doing but eventually this linkage morphed into a postulate: ‘confusion is the result of the loss of innocence.’

Tracing confusion (as an inner condition) back to its roots is not easy; as the connection is not readily apparent; alas, this adds to the miasma surrounding what i hold to be an important issue. Along the way i was forced to take a hard look at innocence, to try to figure out, in practical terms, its definition. Simply put innocence is the absence of motivation; motivation here is taken to mean our tendency to run toward or away from a situation, i.e. in terms of behavior to be motivated is to act from desire in the former case, and fear in the latter.

This movement out of the situation has effects, chief of which is a distortion, an altering of our impression of the situation. And when we act from this altered state we do so in an ‘out-of-touch’ condition, only to find, much to our consternation, unpleasant or unhappy results; in a word we are confused. We thought we knew what was going on, but did not.

We, acting as contracted-self, are continually busy, going from one pole to the other, protecting or attacking, wanting or fearing, as if we are inextricably astride some huge psychic pendulum. In this analogy the opportunity to be free of motivation happens when the pendulum is at maximum speed as it passes the balance point between opposites. Obviously this is a difficult moment to capture, to hold firm in consciousness, as experiments in simple meditation amply demonstrate.

The chief problem for the contracted self is that these swings tend to distort our impressions, i.e. fear and desire color what is experienced, leading to unexpected results and a sense of confusion: i.e. “Yikes, I thought this was going to be a good deal, and here I am with egg on my face! I am bewildered, let down by the known.”

Rarely are we ready to accept confusion as a sign that we have been speeding, and missing what is sometimes called ‘the still small voice’ that speaks from the center of being, where the opposites are known to be complementary and antagonism is nowhere to be found. To the extent that we refuse the bait, refuse to run to, or run from, we remain centered, poised, modest but confident and clear in the moment, and ready to smile or even act if need be; we are enabled, even energized by what Gandhi called satyagraha –truth force.